


wanting to believe in something i can't see

by lostin_space



Series: quick little doodles [66]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: This was the eighth afternoon in a row Alex had found him on his doorstep like this.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: quick little doodles [66]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441564
Comments: 19
Kudos: 69
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	wanting to believe in something i can't see

“Get up.”

Alex watched as Michael drunkenly lolled his head around, trying to somewhat look up in his direction. This was the eighth afternoon in a row Alex had found him on his doorstep like this. Drunk and lost and two ticks away from exploding.

“I’m going to call Isobel to come to pick you up. I don’t want to see you here again,” Alex said as coldly as he could. He was tired of this. Michael didn’t want him and the second Alex tried to move on too, Michael decided to fucking protest it like he had any right.

“No,” Michael said, fumbling to his feet. Alex just watched him in pity. “No, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just make someone love you and then check out! That’s not how this works!”

Alex scoffed, “Are you serious? You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met!” Michael scowled.

“I don’t look away, Alex. I told you that and I meant it.”

“And you’re a liar,” Alex said, “Plain and simple.”

“I love you!” Michael yelled. It was funny. Alex always imagined hearing those words in that order come from him. He always imagined how good it would feel.

Instead, it just hurt.

“I’m calling Isobel,” Alex said, “I’m not talking to you when you’re too drunk to remember it.”

“Why does he have that I don’t?” Michael demanded. Alex looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and tried to figure out who the hell ’ _he_ ’ was. Alex had gone on two dates, but neither of them had lasted past the first date. The more he tried, the more it became obvious he just wasn’t ready.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“That guy! That guy you went on a date with last week!” Michael shouted, bottom lip quivering as he stared and looked so, so hurt. It was bullshit. Alex refused to comfort him. “I saw it. He made you laugh.”

Alex sighed slowly. “What do you want from me?”

“I want to make you laugh. I want you to look at me like you love me again. I want my safe place back,” Michael said, fat tears rolling over his cheeks. Alex closed his eyes and counted to ten.

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten._

“Get sober and maybe you might have a shot,” Alex offered weakly. Michael stared at him.

“You promise?”

“No. But I’ll think about it whenever you’re sober completely.”

Michael stared for a minute and nodded, leaning against the wall and slowly dropping back to the floor. He was absolutely pitiful. He wasn’t the man Alex loved. Rather, he was the husk of it and the actual person was buried deep. He didn’t even know if there was any hope left.

And then Michael looked at him again.

“Can you get me a glass of water?”

Alex told himself this meant nothing. This wasn’t progress.

“Sure.”

He wanted it to be progress.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


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